Prejudice, Ignorance and Profile Changes

You may have noticed that I changed my Myspace profile. Not just the look of the page, I also changed a few things in the "About me" section. Go ahead, look, I'll wait....

Back now? Good.

I didn't just make these changes because I was bored, or because I wanted to "freshen things up", I was motivated by a couple of things.

I had a very interesting, although upsetting conversation last week with one of my professers. I stopped in to see my Chem lab instructor, and in the course of talking she asked how my son was. She knows Wy's autistic, and we've had conversations about autism before, but never one like this. She was asking about his schooling, what kind of class does he go to, is he in a special school, all that. I told her he attends a specialized autism class in a regular elementary school, that he goes to a regular classroom for art, and that the kids eat in the cafeteria every day. She looked shocked. She told me that it was a bad idea for him to go to a regular school, that "children like him" should be in a school for kids with disabilities, and not around "normal kids". She said that it's not good for "normal kids" to be around "damaged" children, that it will make them "act like they're damaged too". (anything in quotations is a direct quote from her).

I was disgusted. This level of ignorance and prejudice, from someone with a PhD?!?! I was stunned. So much so that initially, I didn't know what to say.

Once I pulled my thoughts together I politely explained to her that Wyatt was not "damaged" his intellegence is intact, he's able to communicate, and he's doing very well in school. I then made an excuse and left. Had she been anyone else, I would have ripped her a new one, but since I still need a passing grade from this cow I had to bite my tongue.

Later that evening I talked to my older son. One of the sororities on his campus was doing a lecture on autism so he decided to go, thinking he might learn something new. Sadly, no.

The lecture consisted of all the standard stereotypes about autism. Autistics can't express feelings, they all rock and handflap, they're not able to communicate, they don't make eye contact and autism is caused by vaccinations. Autistic children (And of course, ALL autistics are children) are victims, helpless, unaware of the world around them, incapable of showing affection, learning, or experiencing joy. When the girls presenting the lecture threw it open to questions, my son proceded to dismantle nearly every point they had presented. He asked them if any of them knew someone with autism, and not one of them did.

He told me not one of the girls from that sorority will talk to him now. He said it's no great loss! God I love that kid.

I'm just so sick and tired of the media presenting autism as this horrible "disease" and "epidemic" that NEEDS TO BE CURED!!!!! MY GOD WE HAVE TO SAVE THESE POOR SAD LOST CHILDREN!!!!

Please, shut the fuck up.

My son is not lost, he's not a victim and he's actually a very happy kid. He knows that he's different, but he also knows that he's loved and accepted for exactly who he is. There have been times when I've told people he's autistic, and they respond with "Oh the poor thing" Oh bless his little heart" Oh that's so sad".

Bitch, I'll cut you.

I don't tell people he's autistic so he'll be pitied, I do it so he'll be accepted, so people will understand that he's he's not a brat, he's not hyper and he doesn't "need a spanking". I tell people so they'll understand that there's a reason he responds to questions with quotes from movies, so they'll know that he can't always make eye contact because it's too overwhelming for him. I do it so people will learn, so they'll see that autism is not the end of the world, it's just a different way of experiencing it.

Despite all the sobbing mothers paraded out by Oprah and Autism Speaks, not every parent of an autistic child is sitting at home thinking their life is a living hell. Not all of us are subjecting our children to experimental treatments, psychotropic medication and intensive, sometimes torturous therapies in the hopes that they'll become "normal", that they'll be "cured". Many of us are doing everything we can to help our children learn and function, WITHOUT trying to change who they are, or trying to force their square brain into the round hole of neurotypical function.

Many of us love our autistic children exactly as they are.

So get over it already.