I so hate having to deal with Wyatts father. As Cindi so aptly put it, he's a tool.
I've been having my yearly school district battle, and after talking to the director of the Exceptional Childrens programs, I'm going to have Wyatt transfer to Walkertown Elementary. The Principal there is much more receptive to EC Kids, having been an EC teacher, the programs is at the same level as the one he attended last year, and Walkertown is closer to my parents, which will make it easier for them to help me out on days that I have late classes.
I've had Wy's school records and his Individual Education Plan transferred over, and I'm going in tomorrow to fill out the contact paperwork, and set up school bus transportation for him. There's also an open house on the 19th, where Wyatt will be able to come see his classroom, meet his classmates and teacher, and get to look around the school before starting there. So I've got everything in order for him.
I call his father today, to make sure that he's up to speed on all of this. He knew Wy was going to transfer, and in actuality, this makes things easier for him, because Walkertown is closer to where he lives. I told him everything that was set up for Wyatt, and he says to me - "You're not going to drive him to school any more, you're going to make him ride the bus?".
Like I had told him I was going to push bamboo shoots under Wyatts nails.
I said "Yes John, he'll be 9 next month, I don't see any reason why he can't ride the schoolbus." He's ridden the bus before, in preschool and in kindergarten and first grade. The only reason he hasn't ridden the past 2 years was that he was attending Jefferson as a transfer student, which meant that the school district wouldn't provide bus transportation.
Then the tool tells me "Well, I'm going to have to go over there and make sure that everything is acceptable." I asked him if he really thought I would put Wyatt into an unacceptable school, and he said "Well I don't know Peg, you've had a lot of changes in your life lately, I just want to make sure Wyatt's getting the attention he needs"
If I could have crawled through the phone and choked the fucker I would have.
He seems to think that because Tim and I aren't together any more, that gives him the right to make veiled accusations that I'm neglecting Wyatt, or that somehow my husbands infidelity and abandonment of his family is a reflection on my parenting skills. He conveniently forgets that he ran out on his wife and son when Wyatt was 2, in fact he did it on the day we were supposed to have a 2nd birthday party for Wyatt. He also seems to conveniently forget that he's had a domestic violence protective order filed against him for verbally abusing me, backing me up against a wall, pulling his fist back and threatening to hit me in front of our 2 year old son.
The other thing that he seems to forget is that I have primary custody of Wyatt, that I have made every decision regarding Wyatts autism diagnosis, therapies, treatments and education, with virtually no input from him. The few times that he HAS attempted to make any kind of suggestions he's suggested therapies that I used with Wyatt 3-4 years earlier, and Wy has long outgrown. He wanted Wyatt to have chelation and hyperbaric O2 therapy done - treatments intended to remove heavy metals from vaccines that supposedly cause autism. I had to remind him that the vaccines Wyatt received were thimerisol (mercury based preservative) free, that there have been no credible scientific studies proving that chelation has any effect whatsoever on autistic children, and that chelation is highly experimental and has a high incidence of potentially dangerous side effects.
I've gone out of my way to treat him decently, to include him in every aspect of Wyatts life, to make sure that he's up to date on everything that's going on with Wy, and this is the kind of bullshit I get in return. He's condescending, insulting, and rude every time he comes over to pick Wyatt up. He makes snide little comments like "Has Wyatt eaten today?" or "Is that what he's going to wear?" or "Did you remember to have him do his homework?" He's also threatened twice to take me to court and fight me for custody, claiming he had a lawyer. Both times I told him to go ahead, and he ended up backing down and admitting he didn't have a lawyer after all.
God he's just SUCH an asshole!
Right now he's pissed because I've told him that I need for him to pick up more time with Wyatt, and that if he continues to pay his child support late I'm going to have it garnished from his paycheck. His response to that was to tell me that Wyatt can come live with him every other week and we'll eliminate child support all together.
That's not going to happen. I'm not going to shuttle Wyatt between 2 homes every week, that's too much transition and too much inconsistency for him, it's not in his best interests. He's already had enough major changes in his life this year, I'm not going to force any more on him, that's not fair to him. And honestly, I don't think John is capable of dealing with Wyatt on a full time basis, I don't think he has the stamina or the patience in the long run. I know what his temper is like, he stuffs everything down until he reaches the boiling point, and then explodes over something inconsequential (like, say, a sink full of dirty dishes). He also has bouts of severe depression, which he refuses to get treatment for. He can handle Wy for 1-2 days at a time, or for the occasional week, but raising an autistic child full time is a whole different ball game, and he's not equipped for it.
So, I think maybe it's time for me to verbally smack him down again, put him in his place, and make it crystal clear to him that I will NOT tolerate this bullshit from him. I've gone out of my way to try and keep things on an even keel for Wyatts sake, but I've about reached my limit with this ass monkey.